Artemis
A TNG Bridge Station
I am the captain of an Artemis-class Terran starship. It has powerful shields, beam weapons, and a series of torpedos - both homing and nuclear. My closest and most trusted friends, close enough to trust with my life, are manning my bridge. They put their faith in my command experience and will execute my orders without question. The helm can safely steer us within kilometers of a black hole, or make the kessel run in less than twelve parsecs if we’re quick about it. Engineering can fine-tune our power outputs, balancing shields, engines, and weapons to give us the advantage we need in firefights. The science scanner can show an accurate view of an entire sector of space with ease, peering through nebulae as easily as you or I look through a window, before switching to short-range and giving a display of the nearest enemy ship. It shows the enemy’s front and rear shield strength and frequencies, so we can adjust our beams... or something, I think. I’m actually not really sure how this works. Who can load more torpedos? Can any of you make this thing turn faster? Someone is shooting us with something! How do we use the nuke? Are we far enough awa-
That was more or less the story of our first game of Artemis, ending promptly in our destruction. They probably should not have trusted in my command experience, since I actually had none. Artemis is a spaceship bridge simulator - think Star Trek, mostly, with some other space stuff mixed in. It is able to play over the internet at large, but the intention is for friends (very dorky friends, clearly) to gather in a room together and man individual bridge stations on their own personal starship. While operating their stations, players actually need to communicate with each other verbally to coordinate attacks and movement. It is when a team fails in this area that most of the hilarity ensues. With a full crew, there are six stations - the Captain on the main display, surrounded by engineering, weapons, helm, communications, and science. So, you need a lot of laptops to play, or maybe lots desktops and lots of table space. To make it even easier, the game was very recently released on iPad, which is just straight genius since these tablets already look just like the computerized clipboards on Star Trek.
Our first go at the game didn’t go so well, but we got a little better on subsequent tries every Tuesday. By week three, the sound of the room actually had some resemblance to a starship bridge. I wore my “tea. earl grey. hot.” t-shirt (While I’m game to put on a purpose-specific dorky shirt, going and purchasing a Federation Captain’s shirt is a little much. At least for now. But is it not at least a little revealing that I have considered it?…Since it came up, I took a look and they’re fairly cheap on ebay. It might not hurt to have one on hand...), and had some tea of course, to get into character. My bridge actually had gotten to some level of co), and had some tea of course, to get into character. My bridge actually had gotten to some level of competence and could deliver in an encounter, so we were able to actually say some really awesome things out loud: “We’re low on energy, give me a bearing on the nearest space station!”
“Weapons, tune beams to frequency E and unload on their front shields!”
“Engineering, full energy to maneuvering. Helmsman, bring us around to face the enemy!”
“Captain, the enemy has sent notice of their surrender” (spoken as a nuclear projectile is on its way to their ship. Whoops.)
Of course, all of my lines end in exclamation points. That’s just my command style. Frantic, slightly confused. I haven’t really had the chance to refine it, since we only played for those few weeks. It took up a little too much of our night to do every week, since we of course need to make time for dinner and NBA Jam and the baby has to bathe and get to bed. But it was a really good time while we were at it. I’m really glad I got to play Picard for a little while. It felt really satisfying to be able to act the part with complete earnestness, and activities that involve as much of the group as possible at once are something I am always looking for. They say men form the strongest bonds in battle together, and now we’re all a little bit closer.
Christopher Peterson really appreciates Star Trek.