Finkle's
Hidden along the canal in Lambertville New jersey there is a hardware store. Joe Finkle's Incorporated.
As you walk in to the store your thoughts immediately turn to regret when you realize you probably just should have made the arduous trip to Home Depot. At least you know they’ll have the coupling for the washing machine hose you need. This is just another failing local hardware store with nothing in it. But as you look around you realize that there are five men and women behind the counter and you notice a little red stand stand from where you select a hanging envelope with a number on it. Where am I? Is this a deli? you think. Once someone sees you holding your numbered envelope they ask you what you’re looking for. This person is now your guide. Know now that you would be nowhere without him and make sure you don’t lose sight of him. You tell him your list of things you need, thinking that they can’t possibly have the couplings, the electrical boxes, the circuit breaker, the plumbing tube, the insulated flashing and the grinder blade, but you go for it anyway. After you finish your recitation your guide nods and starts walking quickly to the back of the store or what appears to be the back. Then through some doors then down some stairs then more stairs passing shelves and shelves with things you’d never known existed. Every item is labeled with masking tape and has usually been crossed out a few times to amend the inventory; nothing is packaged. Your guide abruptly stops at a seemingly random dusty shelf as you try not to run into him he turns to you and asks, “Is this the flashing you need?” Is it? He grabs his tape measure from his pocket to show you the width. Yes it is. Now on to the next item.
Up the stairs, through some doors, down some other stairs to the tubing section, then up again, back again, more doors to the wire section. In each station there are custom made machines or marks on the floor to measure out lengths, specific saws and cutters hanging next to each shelf for your guide to measure and cut what you need. You return to the front of the store and your guide grabs an empty box from the empty box aisle to fill with your small items from the electrical section. For the circuit breaker your guide explains that you have to venture across the street. Another giant building, more shelves, things and tools stacked to the ceiling. "Conduit? How much? Metal rod? That’s in the warehouse down the road; the guys over there will cut it for you."
This is how a hardware store should be. Magical. Surprising. Dusty. Filled with tools and supplies for projects not yet realized. Not sure exactly what you need? Your guide will help you figure it out. You’ll draw diagrams together and measure things out to see what fits. They’ll check the status of your projects, and teach you the right vocabulary. The employees at Finkle’s are the diligent keepers of useful things and they are there to help unlock the secrets of hardware. But in order to be accepted you must have a purpose or a vision, there is no browsing at this store. Yes, that’s it; Finkle’s is the mythical version of the hardware purchasing experience.
It is the place that every venturer must stop on their quest to project completion. An excuse to go to Finkle's is an excuse to visit your friends in the magical world of tools and gadgets. Your friends will always be there, bitching about the weather, taking long cigarette breaks, and discussing the latest shipment of unistrut. You will always be a visitor to this world, and the excitement of your visit will end as you climb into your car bungee chorded shut to fit the conduit that was just a little bit too long and realize you’re now on your own. Your project guides can only take you as far as the door, and now it is your duty to execute the plan that seemed so solid inside the walls of Finkle's. “Well, I’ll probably be back in a few hours,”you think, “there’s no way I have enough couplings for this and I bet that bolt size is really in metric. I’ll be back and they will help me.”
Malaika appreciates circular saws, laser levels, a well-made shovel and instruction manuals.
[Editor's Note: Check out her farm here.]